It's totally crazy, but we love it to bits

Crashing in from Guangzhou, it's easy to just accept Hong Kong as a finely-tuned slipstream of brands, banks and expatriate enclaves dominating the island from Central to Causeway Bay. But it doesn't have to be this way.

These days, when thinking of Hong Kong, it's best to think of Mongkok instead. And not just because of what Hong Kong has become and what Mongkok has not. Mongkok encapsulates all that's best and funky about Hong Kong. The name suggests hustle and bustle and that's because it's the real-deal: a postcard Hong Kong of John Woo's neon lights, steamy baths and dim sum hotspots all within spitting distance of the five star luxury of Langham Place. Here's how I spent the time there . . .

9am

Enjoy the personalized check-in at Langham Place Hotel's Club-L while the concierge organizes the airport pick-up for a degenerate brother
flying in from Singapore.

11am

Deliver 'best behavior' lecture to said brother while clutching Mojito in the hotel pool.

1pm

Nervously finger credit cards then go to nearby Nathan Road and haggle/bargain for diamonds to purchase an engagement ring.

3.30pm

Stop in for cheeky little beer at The Bar, scene of the famous Gong Fu fight in Chow Yun Fat's 'Tiger on the Beat'. Wonderful.

5pm

Time to beat the afternoon crowds. Take a crash tour of Yuen Po Street Bird Garden, the Flower Market, the Goldfish Market and the Tung Choi Street market – otherwise known as Ladies Market (though hardly a lady will be found here).

7.30pm

Stop back at hotel's funky bar 'Portal' for cheeky cosmopolitans and to point out beautiful girls now suddenly even more unavailable than ever before.

8.30pm

Get lost on way back to room in Langham Place Hotel's marble foyer that blooms into a 300-shop, 600,000 square feet luxury shopping mall.

11pm

Take ferry across gorgeous Victoria harbor ignoring lingering sense of having forgotten something. Take ferry back to Central station and find brother. Walk arm in arm up to Kowloon's Knutsford terrace, then stop at HK 7-11 to stock up on picnic chocolate bars.

2.30am

Enjoy some bright lasers and loud Karaoke. Not sure where.

5am

Return red-eyed to hotel's Club-L linger to verify the existence of their 24-hour complimentary drinks and snacks. Yep, it's all true.

Where to stay

Langham Place Hotel

Address: 555 Shanghai Street, Mongkok

Tel: (852) 3552 3388

Where to dine

El Cid Spanish Restaurant

Address: Cnr of Observatory and Kimberly Road

Tel: (852) 23121898

Where to party

Lai Sing (A KTV bar that's so wrong it's right)

Address: Sang Fat Mans, Mongkok.

Tel: (852) 23940053