Things about you nobody knows back home . . .

VITAL STATS

Name: Lennart Nilsson

Where I'm from: Sweden

Where I live: Tianhe, Guangzhou

What I do: The Swedish Commercial Consul in Guangzhou

How long I've been in China: A little more than two years.

What is your favorite bar or club?

Tang Club, because of the cool architecture and the interior design.

Describe your ideal Saturday in Guangzhou.

Hanging out with interesting people, either sharing good food, having a few drinks, or dancing our asses off.

What do you love most about Guangzhou?

The dynamic atmosphere!

What do you hate most about Guangzhou?

The fact that I will have to leave someday!

What do you do to relax on Sunday afternoons?

I grab a guitar, compose and record music, or just play around in my little home studio.

What is your favorite Cantonese phrase?

Yauh mouh gau choh ah!

What is the greatest lesson China has taught you?

That I thought my own country was 'exotic' and 'far away' until I came here . . .

Tell us a secret about you that
nobody knows back home.

Honestly, nobody knows I'm behind the MySpace profile Lousy Lelle & the Lovesick Losers.

What would you do if you woke up Chinese?

Look forward to the Olympics even more.

What record changed your life?

Faye Wong's eponymous album from 1997. Seriously, I'm her biggest fan in the world. She just doesn't know it yet . . .

Where do we go when we die?

Depends on your kharma.

What is your worst ever fashion mistake?

According to my 19-year old daughter, it's my leather biker-jacket. Personally, I don't know what she's talking about.

If you could travel back in time where would you go?

I'd sneak into the Imperial Palace of the Tang Dynasty and pretend to be a eunuch.

The last time you looked in the mirror you thought . . .

Oh, no! Why me? Why now?

What's the worst thing that someone has said about you?

I've heard people say I laugh at my own jokes far too much. That's unfair.

What is the best thing you can cook for us at home?

Really, my spaghetti carbonara would embarrass most Italian chefs.

If you could have one magical superpower, what would it be?

The ability to fly at supersonic speed.

Name three people you would like to be stuck in an elevator with . . .

Faye Wong, of course, Bob Dylan, and Queen Nefertiti of ancient Egypt.

Tell us a cure for insomnia . . .

My cheeks would blush if I told you the truth.

When is it all going to end?

What? It's going to end!?

If we promised that you could get away with it, who would you kill?

I wouldn't kill anyone, regardless. Maybe rough a few people up a little bit...

Which universally hated film do you secretly love?

Oh, there are too many! I love universally hated films! Anything camp, like ridiculous sci-fi or horror movies, and any Elvis movie.

If you could be one Spice Girl or one Beatle, which would you choose?

Scary Spice! No, if I could change a few things in his life, I would pick John Lennon. I imagine my personality is similar to his. And he was the rocker in The Beatles, after all.

What is your favorite Cantopop tune?

Again, there are too many, but Anita Mui's 'Neui Yan Sum' is a very romantic song for me.

If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?

Don't tell my wonderful wife, but the famous Italian movie star Claudia Cardinale. We would only be sleeping, of course.

Which celebrity should play you in your life story?

Tony Leung in the blockbuster: 'How I Strangely Ended Up A Gwailo Diplomat'.

Do ghosts exist?

Sure, they do. Don't they?

What would you say to Osama Bin Laden if you met him walking down the street?

. . .

Tell us your special talent.

I'm not too bad with the ink and pen, and when I was young I even considered a career as a comic book artist.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Was it because the traffic light turned green?

In a nutshell, what is your philosophy of life?

In order to enjoy life, while still striving to improve upon it, don't forget the achievements you have already made.

Have you lied since we started this conversation?

Of course not! Ooops, I did it again . . .